My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
