Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
do herpes really smell.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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