turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize