went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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