I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
