Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
