Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
