I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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