I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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