I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
