and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize