She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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