Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
