I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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