I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can text with my tongue
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
