We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
