Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
