Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
