Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
