But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
