Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
