i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
