Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
