Cold hands, warm shart.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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