My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
