I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
