My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
