We're facebook friends in real life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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