Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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