I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
