no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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