You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
