Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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