Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
