So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
