I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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