I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
