Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
