How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
