there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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