how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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