every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
