What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
