If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
