Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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