Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
