just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
