Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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