Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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