She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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