yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
