Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
