I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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