so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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