Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize