So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
