your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
