feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize