Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
