I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
