I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
cat food counts as protein by the way
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
