Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
